Updated: Jan 13, 2021
At the end of 2020 I recorded my conversation with Kiana who lives in Stockholm's first coliving spaces, Hus24. It gave 2021's' first episode, and a beautiful conversation full of insights.
"We expect our partner to provide what a village provided in the past"
This is probably one of my favorite quotes as it brings up the disfunctioning society we are now all stuck in somehow. People who critisize Coliving often to argue that residents are parked in boxes.
Where are we now if not in a box within a box within a box ? Life as we know it has become some kind of Russians dolls in reverse. From one tiny box to a slightly larger one.
We're raised in tiny boxes. Their 4 corners might not be palpable but they are there. The first box is often cozy though. But as we grow older, it gets crowded and even if we move on to a slightly larger one, there is always something blocking the way somehow, whether it is Society, Culture, School, Religion & other beliefs...
While we navigate from one box to another, we are very much encouraged to keep to ourselves and make sure our problems and soul searching are in an air tight box of their own.
And so we seek solace in a life partner and/or a career, and from those only 2 sources we are expected to harvest everything we need to be a sain and content human being (meaning, purpose, fulfilment, passion, confort, support, challenge, entertainment...).
We will then eventually invest all our life saving in our very own box, where we will produce an heir or two and raise them on our own, with the suport of apps, online services and tones of memberships. God forbid should we ask for help or ever show that we're struggling to juggle it all.
We are expected to put on a 15 people play on our own. What used to be a Musical is now some kind of lonely one man show.
Because of this strange, counter intiutive and effectively, counter productive idea that a human needs to fend for him/herself, the great grand parents, the grand mas, the grand pas, the uncles, cousins, the neighbours, the villagers all have been cast away. And with them, the learnings, the laughter, the trust, confidence and shared history that binds people together and make them stronger to face life.
What we thankfully seem to (re)discover and (re)learn through community living type of experiences, is that everybody, regardless of their age (and obviously gender, race etc.) has a role to play.
Why are we always "parked" with people our own age as soon as we start speaking and this for the next 15 to 20 years? Why is living with our parents as an adult or with other unrelated adults assimilated to failure?
Could it be that it makes Society uncomfortable, as it simply does not fit the ideas of self sufficiency and consumerism it so proudly abide by?
When we flatten the boxes and let others in, we get pupose, we get help, we get support, we get challenges, we get confort and untertainement first hand. No app needed.